Replay & Rewind

today's been a crappy day. same as yesterday..i cried out hard just now..been breaking down so often recently..haiz..parents never understand what we are going through now..same as teachers..tell them that we are stressed out..all they can do is to scream at you..nagged at you..I duno how to tell you all..just so hard for me say it all out..just that no one really understands me..even my own parents..they dun bloody understand me..just because i showed a black face just now and threw a tantrum..my mum screamed and cried..dont want me to hide anything from her...how? you tell me..how to tell you anything when all ur gonna do is to scream at me and end up crying? after all these..i can conclude that all the parents are the same..dun just give us the logical wise crap..dun keep asking us to stand in ur shoes and look at things from ur point..how about you all just try looking at ours? how about that? isnt that fair? instead of asking me to respect all of u..how about we do mutual respect by respecting me the same way? and dun dampen our spirits and demoralised us all the time just cause of one failure..we all are feeling pretty bad already..just just..someone just kill me..I have been hiding so many stuff from them..it's really hurting me inside..who would say anything to ur own parents of they are those kind of person who won't ever accept you for who you really are..how..you tell me..what should I do?..I'm fine with anything..anything to make all these pain go away.. I don't wanna fake it anymore..can't smile and pretend like as if nothing ever happen everytime I get home..I have had enough..I have enough troubles of my own to listen to all of urs.. I really wonder how long more can I last in this place..we are no longer playing in a world full of innocent young children..we are in a complex place..playing games with kids of our age or even older..playing with people who have the cold blooded mindset/thinking of those creepy adults..even the adults themselves are playing in our world..twisting our heads and playing ard with our minds.. is this really how the working world gonna be like? except 100 times worse? if that's the case..then I dun wanna grow up..