This week is a busy week...:/..Monday like hectic only..Tuesday not any better..Just finished my csas remedial...later i need to rush out my FC, CSAS draft lab report...and more..
Just this week itself,many things happened. My friend, kim from salvo decided to switch from poly to jc..It was so sudden that i only heard of the news yesterday..And today during psycho class..wei xuan said that she have decided to withdraw from her course...and come back only when we are in year 3.:(...
Why..why are all of you leaving?..haiz..its kinda sad that they are leaving tp..but even so..its their choice..there's nothing i can do but only to wish them luck in their future endeavours..:]
Didn't have proper sleep for a couple of days already..:/..theres just too much things to do uh..hmm..my body aching abit..headache once in awhile..but not that bad..my parents were damn worried though...it's just only 9 now and they are chasing me to sleep..:P..but i can't uh..really cannot..><...must finish all the things i need to do or else i won't have time to study tomorrow..especially after my salvo uh..heh..
Next week's salvo preview..its the day that determines if i will be involved in 'lang' score for the upcoming concert..after that training will stops till after our sem papers..:]..thats all uh..Ciaos!:D
Monday, January 30, 2012
If Only You Knew...
By Sameh
I can't seem to find the right words to say
To tell you that I feel this way.
I want you. What can I do
To make you want me next to you?
If you look at me, you'll understand,
All I want is to hold your hand.
I've felt this way for, oh, so long,
And it hurts me that I don't belong...
Wanting you to want me, it's all a dream,
My heart aches, I just want to scream.
I smile and laugh just thinking of you,
Together here, I wish it was true.
I always imagine your gentle touch,
If you only knew I felt this much...
Not being with you, I'm falling apart,
'cause I don't know how to get to your heart.
If only you could see the love in my eyes,
And all those nights I sat and cried...
Just look at me, I'm standing right here,
Just call out my name, and I'll be there.
How long the wait, I do not know...
But when the day comes, I'll let it show.
If only you knew my feelings for you,
I'll stay hopeful that you'll feel the same way, too
I can't seem to find the right words to say
To tell you that I feel this way.
I want you. What can I do
To make you want me next to you?
If you look at me, you'll understand,
All I want is to hold your hand.
I've felt this way for, oh, so long,
And it hurts me that I don't belong...
Wanting you to want me, it's all a dream,
My heart aches, I just want to scream.
I smile and laugh just thinking of you,
Together here, I wish it was true.
I always imagine your gentle touch,
If you only knew I felt this much...
Not being with you, I'm falling apart,
'cause I don't know how to get to your heart.
If only you could see the love in my eyes,
And all those nights I sat and cried...
Just look at me, I'm standing right here,
Just call out my name, and I'll be there.
How long the wait, I do not know...
But when the day comes, I'll let it show.
If only you knew my feelings for you,
I'll stay hopeful that you'll feel the same way, too
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Madly In Love
Something I've been having for a long time,
Ever since I've met you for the first time.
I can't explain why I feel this way,
Everytime you would come my way
I always tremble, feelin nervous,
It's like I wanna fall down unconcious.
I don't know what so special about you
That made me fall in love with you.
Maybe that cute face of yours,
Your smiles and ways, yes of course
Everytime you're by my side
I'd like to stretch my hands open wide
And embrace you tight endlessly
But I can't, you might turn away from me.
So what can I do,
If this is what I feel for you
Can you blame me, if I have fallen
Madly in love with you...
Friday, January 27, 2012
Loving an Imperfect Person
They have been married for two years. He loves literature and often posts his work on the net, but nobody ever reads them. He is also into photography and he handles their wedding photos. He loves her very much. Likewise with her. She has a quick temper and always bullies him. He is a gentleman and always gives in to her. Today, she's being willful again.
Her: "Why can't you be the photographer for my friend's wedding? She promised she'd pay."
Him: "I don't have time that day."
Her: "Humph!"
Him: "Huh?"
Her: "Don't have time? Write less of those novels, and you will have all the time you need."
Him: "I... someone will definitely recognize my work some day."
Her: "Humph! I don't care, you'll have to do it for her!"
Him: "No."
Her: "Just this once?"
Him: "No."
Negotiation's broken. So, she gave the final warning: "Give me a Yes within three days, or else..."
First day, she "withheld" the kitchen, bathroom, computer, refrigerator, television, hi-fi...
Except the double bed, to show her "benevolence".
Of course, she has to sleep on it too. He didn't mind, as he still has some cash in his pockets.
Second day, she conducted a raid and removed everything from his pockets and warned, "Seek any external help, and you bear the consequences."
He's nervous now. That night, on the bed, he begs for mercy, hoping that she'll end this state. She doesn't give a damn. No way am I giving in, whatever he says. Until he agrees.
Third day, night. On the bed. He's lying on the bed, looking to one side. She's lying on the bed, looking to the other side.
Him: "We need to talk."
Her: "Unless it's about the wedding, forget it."
Him: "It's something very important."
She remains silent.
Him:"Let's get a divorce."
She did not believe her ears.
Him: "I got to know a girl."
She's totally angry, and wanted to hit him. But she held it down, wanting to let him finish. But her eyes already felt wet. He took a photo out from his chest. Probably from his undershirt pocket, that's the only place she didn't go through yesterday. How careless.
Him: "She's a nice girl."
Her tears fell.
Him: "She has a good personality too."
She's heartbroken because he puts a photo of some other girl close to his heart.
Him: "She says that she'll support me fully in my pursue for literature after we got married."
She's very jealous because she said the same thing in the past.
Him: "She loves me truly."
She wishes to sit up and scream at him "Don't I?"
Him: "So, I think she won't force me to do something that I don't want to do."
She's thinking, but the rage won't subside.
Him: "Want to take a look at the photo I took for her?"
Her: "...!"
He brings the photo before her eyes.
She's in a total rage, hits his hand away and leaves a burning slap on his face.
He sighs. She cries.
He puts the photo back to his pocket.
She pulls her hand back under the blanket.
He turns off the light, and sleeps.
She turns on the light, and sits up.
He's asleep. She lost sleep.
She regrets treating him the way she treated him.
She cried again, and thought about a lot of things.
She wants to wake him up.
She wants to have a intimate talk with him. She doesn't want to push him anymore.
She stares at his chest. She wants to see how the girl looks.
She slips the photo out.
She wanted to cry and she wanted to laugh.
It's a nicely taken photo.
A photo he took for her.
She bends down, and kissed him on his cheek.
He smiled. He was just pretending to be asleep.
"You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." .
Her: "Why can't you be the photographer for my friend's wedding? She promised she'd pay."
Him: "I don't have time that day."
Her: "Humph!"
Him: "Huh?"
Her: "Don't have time? Write less of those novels, and you will have all the time you need."
Him: "I... someone will definitely recognize my work some day."
Her: "Humph! I don't care, you'll have to do it for her!"
Him: "No."
Her: "Just this once?"
Him: "No."
Negotiation's broken. So, she gave the final warning: "Give me a Yes within three days, or else..."
First day, she "withheld" the kitchen, bathroom, computer, refrigerator, television, hi-fi...
Except the double bed, to show her "benevolence".
Of course, she has to sleep on it too. He didn't mind, as he still has some cash in his pockets.
Second day, she conducted a raid and removed everything from his pockets and warned, "Seek any external help, and you bear the consequences."
He's nervous now. That night, on the bed, he begs for mercy, hoping that she'll end this state. She doesn't give a damn. No way am I giving in, whatever he says. Until he agrees.
Third day, night. On the bed. He's lying on the bed, looking to one side. She's lying on the bed, looking to the other side.
Him: "We need to talk."
Her: "Unless it's about the wedding, forget it."
Him: "It's something very important."
She remains silent.
Him:"Let's get a divorce."
She did not believe her ears.
Him: "I got to know a girl."
She's totally angry, and wanted to hit him. But she held it down, wanting to let him finish. But her eyes already felt wet. He took a photo out from his chest. Probably from his undershirt pocket, that's the only place she didn't go through yesterday. How careless.
Him: "She's a nice girl."
Her tears fell.
Him: "She has a good personality too."
She's heartbroken because he puts a photo of some other girl close to his heart.
Him: "She says that she'll support me fully in my pursue for literature after we got married."
She's very jealous because she said the same thing in the past.
Him: "She loves me truly."
She wishes to sit up and scream at him "Don't I?"
Him: "So, I think she won't force me to do something that I don't want to do."
She's thinking, but the rage won't subside.
Him: "Want to take a look at the photo I took for her?"
Her: "...!"
He brings the photo before her eyes.
She's in a total rage, hits his hand away and leaves a burning slap on his face.
He sighs. She cries.
He puts the photo back to his pocket.
She pulls her hand back under the blanket.
He turns off the light, and sleeps.
She turns on the light, and sits up.
He's asleep. She lost sleep.
She regrets treating him the way she treated him.
She cried again, and thought about a lot of things.
She wants to wake him up.
She wants to have a intimate talk with him. She doesn't want to push him anymore.
She stares at his chest. She wants to see how the girl looks.
She slips the photo out.
She wanted to cry and she wanted to laugh.
It's a nicely taken photo.
A photo he took for her.
She bends down, and kissed him on his cheek.
He smiled. He was just pretending to be asleep.
"You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." .
Came across this peom on the web, it reminded me of the things that have happened 3 years ago. Though that ache and pain in my heart is gone. The scars you left behind, remains forever.
Cruel World
By: Paul Curtis
My tears ran like autumn rain
When cupids love was slain
In my heart there was only pain
I turn my back upon the world.
My world was shattered
When I lost all that mattered
And my dreams were scattered
I turn my back upon the world.
My heart has been broken
Her love for me was only token
All her promises now forsaken
I turn my back upon the world.
The loss of my hearts desire
Cold embers where once was fire
To love again I can only aspire
I turn my back upon the world.
But with head high I went forward
Feeling not a little awkward
And I found my just reward
When I went again into the world.
Though my love ended in tears
It's never as dark as it appears
I've put aside my darkest Fears
And I must go again out into the world.
Now back from the brink of madness
With Only distant memories of Sadness
My heart no resounds in gladness
Now I'm back again into the world.
Everyday I'm Salvoing~
Everyone tired after the extra trainings..:)..even so we still enjoy playing those drums
My One and Only Gubang..:].Been with me for about 4 months i think..hope it can last long long..hopefully till the day i step down..:)..
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Just woke up:)...funny eh..most of the time my mum would be screamin her head off at 9 am to get me to wake up..haha..i think she knew i stayed up late again...thanks mum!:)..
Many things went through my head since last night..:/..i don't know..i had a pretty weird dream today..its like i'm searching for something but i don't know what i'm searching for...lol!..but its just a dream..so yea..
Later i'm gonna head to school to pass christ his stuff..at 2.45!..then i gotta wait in the library till 6 for lecture and then go salvo..
Heh..this week pretty slack i guess..thats why i should use this time to memorize my score!D:...i can't get them..like seriously...with all the yapping and scolding..uhhh!..:(..
I know the other seniors are trying their best to help me..one-on-one....but when SHE appear..everything just disappear from my head..:O..i think i'm paranoid..never in my life that am so scared of someone..D:...haiz but the only thing i can do is wait..there's still a couple more months to go..so yea...just try my best for the concert on 23rd march!:D..though i'm not so looking forward to the intensive training camp for that two weeks of break...:/..
Many things went through my head since last night..:/..i don't know..i had a pretty weird dream today..its like i'm searching for something but i don't know what i'm searching for...lol!..but its just a dream..so yea..
Later i'm gonna head to school to pass christ his stuff..at 2.45!..then i gotta wait in the library till 6 for lecture and then go salvo..
Heh..this week pretty slack i guess..thats why i should use this time to memorize my score!D:...i can't get them..like seriously...with all the yapping and scolding..uhhh!..:(..
I know the other seniors are trying their best to help me..one-on-one....but when SHE appear..everything just disappear from my head..:O..i think i'm paranoid..never in my life that am so scared of someone..D:...haiz but the only thing i can do is wait..there's still a couple more months to go..so yea...just try my best for the concert on 23rd march!:D..though i'm not so looking forward to the intensive training camp for that two weeks of break...:/..
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Second day of CNY!
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| Cousins!:D..Not Everyone..Some went out for dates and all...Oh well..:P |
Today last day of CNY break..D;..hehe....today two dear cousins of mine told me their secret!..hehe..i'm not surprise when they told me about it..:D..i kinda had this doubt..:)..what can i say..glad to find like-minded people?:O..lol..
hehe..today played many rounds of blackjack,in between and all..win some..lose some..so not that bad..:)..took so pics and had some heart-to-heart chat with my cousins..i realised that i've missed out damn lot of things..really sorry about that..i should have taken out some time to visit you guys..hehe..don't worry..no matter how busy i'm gonnna be..i will try my best to make time for you all!..:D..the late night movies, parties..you name it!..though for the clubbin part..you guys might have to wait for a couple more months to pass first...:O
Friday, January 20, 2012
CNY
CNY!.. haiz...something i duno if i should look forward to..:/..seriously..its the time when i get to see those people whom i miss dearly and those people/monsters whom i hate like shit..:/..hope everything will goes well...
this year i haven gotten any new clothes..maybe will get a couple of tees...:)..hehe..feeling pretty tired..finally completed my hss research thingy!..but then when i chked my email..i realised i signed up for 3..D:..arh..well just go for the third one i guess..hehe..its on friday anws..so not tt bad..:]..
this year i haven gotten any new clothes..maybe will get a couple of tees...:)..hehe..feeling pretty tired..finally completed my hss research thingy!..but then when i chked my email..i realised i signed up for 3..D:..arh..well just go for the third one i guess..hehe..its on friday anws..so not tt bad..:]..
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
What goes around come around...i guess thats true..:)..i always thought that no matter how good of a person you are..good things may never happen to you all the time..but i guess im wrong..:D..finally the truth is out!..this whole chaos that have been going on in the class were all caused by this woman called...eh..g-string(nicky for her)...:P..
You caused so much misery to the people around and yet act all innocent..like you are all great or something...Tricking people into believing you to support ur claim..Well guess what..things are no longer going your way..You are no longer that 'popular' woman..the 'Queen Bee' you think you are...sad to say..but you deserve all the things that are happening to you now..Your best buds no longer stand by you..the whole class are ignoring you...
Just wanna say that..don't think that you are 'popular' in the first place..you only seem 'popular' because you push other people's rep down with all the rumors/gossips...why get jealous of us in the first place?..just because we get along with the class better?..or that our gpa is higher than yours..is that it?:/
Some of us are popular its due to our attitude..our character..we have people who will stand by us..not because we are pretending to be someone we are not..but by being ourselves..hope you learn something and try to change that b**** attitude of yours..
You caused so much misery to the people around and yet act all innocent..like you are all great or something...Tricking people into believing you to support ur claim..Well guess what..things are no longer going your way..You are no longer that 'popular' woman..the 'Queen Bee' you think you are...sad to say..but you deserve all the things that are happening to you now..Your best buds no longer stand by you..the whole class are ignoring you...
Just wanna say that..don't think that you are 'popular' in the first place..you only seem 'popular' because you push other people's rep down with all the rumors/gossips...why get jealous of us in the first place?..just because we get along with the class better?..or that our gpa is higher than yours..is that it?:/
Some of us are popular its due to our attitude..our character..we have people who will stand by us..not because we are pretending to be someone we are not..but by being ourselves..hope you learn something and try to change that b**** attitude of yours..
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Welcome 2012!
Its been months since last updated..LOL!..i kinda forgot about this place..:P..hehe...things have improved since the last time i saw the class..I duno why but the people are no longer giving me the stares and look..the boys are also talking, joking and kidding ard with me again...my current clique are also accepting me..:)..so i guess this year is gonna be a good one?..:O..hehe...tts all i guess...btw..HAPPY 2012 EVERYONE..:D